thanks

I want to send a shout out thank you to Dan Willes for coming over last night and giving Randy a shower.

Thanks to Sherron for bringing over a remote holder for the bed, and for bringing me a rubber maid shelf for my bathroom to hold my items and stack the towels on.  Now my front room is free of clutter!

I had a work meeting last night and they both came over so it made it so Randy wasn't alone while I was away.  Nice timing.

Thank you to everyone who have brought in meals, and continue to bring in meals.  It has been so helpful, as going to the store would take time away from helping Randy.  Not to mention I hate to cook.

Randy is getting better each day.  Today physical therapy is coming in at 10 or 10:30.  I have work in the afternoon but Austen will be home (and hopefully awake) to handle Randy duty as Tanner will be at school.

I still can't believe that if you have over 3,000 in savings you can't qualify for disability.  Doesn't that seem crazy?  If anyone knows anything different please let me know.  Savings only lasts for so long when your income is less that your outgoing bills.  I don't say this to worry anyone.  I really think we will be fine.  It just came as a surprise to me that's all.

I am finished with my calls...for now

Yes!  I just got off the phone with my last call on the bills and disability.  It is 4:11.  Two different people were kind enough to take my younger boys so I could finish in the nick of time.  Tanner just walked in at 4:12.
Bad news, we don't qualify for disability or any other resource.
Good news, I think I have the insurance dealt with and my bills are paid for; for now at least.
We will have to pay our out of pocket,  plus co-pays, plus medicine, and the durable medical is not included.  Insurance stops paying at the 5,000 mark for equipment and then we have to pay 100% of the rest after that.

I got some sleep

Today is so much better because I got some sleep.  I had some great help yesterday to take care of the small things that were feeling big with my lack of sleep.  Tanner was able to help Randy go to the restroom.  It was a successful trip with just the two of them!  I was awake for the trip, but so exhausted that Randy wouldn't let me help.  Randy said it went well and he didn't get hurt.
Thank you to everyone for coming over to help!  Both mom's, dad Willes, Brook and Kevin Workman and Sherron.
Later that night Tanner was able to help Randy put his brace on.  Tanner is amazing!  He loves to help and is really great at it.
Stephanie is back from her vacation so she was able to drive carpool today.  Which made it possible for me to go back to bed and take a nap.  Oh happy day.
Randy gets up in the night, but he really doesn't need me.  I have everything he needs in his reach.  I just hear him and want to help out.  He is quiet.  I am just a light sleeper.  So we talked about me sleeping in another room tomorrow night to see if that helps me to sleep better and chase away the grouchies.
Randy is doing amazing.  He was able to get himself from the bed to the chair by himself.  He has eaten a few meals at the kitchen table.  He is getting a lot more upper body strength.  Soon he will be able to wipe on his own.
He is a bit saddened that his right leg is smaller than his left.  Both of them are getting skinny.  He is worried about how long it will take to build his legs back up so he can walk.  I know he is strong and determined, so it won't take too long.  He has remained so positive through this whole thing.  He is really amazing!
I can see how this experience can bring us closer as a family.  Even though it isn't the funnest thing we have ever planned.  As soon as I can get the finances figured out I think my mental fatigue will lighten up and I can join Randy on the happy side.  It isn't the daily tasks that are wearing on me.  It's the paper work and phone calls and how to get out of the red that is worrying me the most.

Today is going to be a great day for Randy and I to finally spend some alone time together while Tanner is at kindergarten so we can talk about our new future together and make some plans.

what can I do?

It is 5:30 a.m.  I am awake because Tanner 'slept' in my bed; which is Cooper's old bed.  A twin bed for a wiggly boy and me doesn't work out.  Not to mention the oxygen machine is incredibly loud.  Tanner had one for a while but I don't remember it being so noisy.  Cooper was crying last night at 11:30.  He couldn't sleep/hadn't slept yet , because of the noise.  I went into comfort him and fell asleep on my nice queen bed with him.  I woke up at 5 to check on Randy.  He had texted Austen  to empty his pee in the night so I could sleep.

Here is what I need:
 - time away from Tanner during business hours so I can make calls to figure out if there is a way for us to get temporary disability.
-time away from Tanner to pay my 'normal' bills that I have not had time to look at since the accident
-my bathroom put back together so when someone needs a towel, or a band-aid I can find it! (shelves please)
-door knobs installed (Ron is doing that today.)
-a door bell that works!  Therapy people and others have stopped by.  I could not hear them as I was downstairs doing laundry.
-loud bell for Randy to beckon me. (same problem as above)  My mom is bringing one today when she babysits for me while I work.
-baseboards out of Coopers room and installed to a wall (with my bed in his room it is squished to ridiculous in there.  No room to move to get dressed.  Forget play.  No telling how long before the boards are stepped on and crack. (Kevin is going to install them tonight)
-uninterrupted sleep!!! I can not function without it.  I tend to need more than some people can get by on.  And I have been sleep deprived for weeks now.
-For someone else to do homework with Tanner.  He hates to work with me normally anyhow.  And now I don't have the time or energy now to fight with him on it.
-To find Randy's leg exercize paper from the hospital.  I swear I knew right where it was but I looked all over without any luck. (therapy people came today and gave him a hand written one)
-light switch plates on.  I am so tired I find my hand stuck in the openings a few times now. (Brook will try to do these today.  She doesn't know I need to buy/find some more.  Mine have been broken)
-Time.  I was too busy before the accident to even make a doctor appointment for myself.  I am past due for my yearly and out of some of my medicine because of it.  But now, it seems impossible.
- normal household chores

I know it all seems so simple.  But without my sleep it seems impossible.  Here is what I think the difference is between a sudden tragic accident and having a baby.
Baby= 9 months to prepare every needed thing, and a book to tell you what that would be
accident= too sudden to plan, no one tells you how to prepare

Baby= helpless, yet can use diaper without help (diapers are a quick chore to change)
accident= helpless, can't get to restroom alone, even if we used a diaper I couldn't change him quickly or painlessly.  I can't lift him or move him in that way.

Baby = sleeps quietly most of the time
accident=needs noisy machine each time he is asleep

Baby= I would have planned my remodel to be finished before giving birth (we moved one week before I had Austen.  He was a week early.  Yet I still had everything put away, cleaned and I was prepared for is arrival)
accident= bring husband home during remodel.  Waited for toilet to be installed to use it.  Used a bedside commode while we waited.  I thought that taking a bag of poo to the trash was worse than taking out a dirty diaper.  Just so ya know.

Baby= anyone can change their diaper.  They don't mind
accident= not anyone can restroom their 'diaper area'.  Too embarrassing.
I suppose this last one is more like breastfeeding.  Which I didn't do for this reason.  It ties you down too much.  If the baby is hungry only mom will do.  Which means I would have only had two hours to be away at a time.  So this is  very much like the restroom ordeal.  Only worse.  So I would have to say this one doesn't count.

Okay, enough of my ranting.  Now I'm off to take my sweetie to the bathroom, take kids to school, and go to work for the day.  Then pick up from school and start my new life with a smile.  And hope that on Thursday I will have time to do all of the above on my day off of work.

 

Tue Day two

Today I tried to take Cooper to school.  He refused.  Randy tried to help from the bed.  No luck. After 30 minutes I gave up and took Tanner to the dentist.  (After I took Randy to the restroom...long process...and fixed his breakfast)  Came back home and Cooper was still asleep.  He slept until noon.  We all have been working on very little sleep with the house remodel for so long it is getting to us.

Then I made some phone calls, took Randy to the restroom again and fed everyone.  Cooper was up and showered.  I put a few more things away from our 'move' and took both boys to school.  Came back for one hour, talked with Randy a bit.  Then picked boys up early for another dentist appointment.  Then I took advantage of having both boys with me and got their hair cut!  Then home for bathroom and dinner for all.

Daniel is here now and he is showing us a better maneuver for getting the wheelchair in and out of the bathroom. By the time we get the transfer board under Randy, slide him over, put the legs on the chair, try to get around some tight corners, take off the legs, put the board on toilet, transfer again, take out board, pull down pants, do the 'job', wipe (that's my least favorite part, baby bums are cuter) then do it all in reverse order.  Whew!  my back hurts and Randy's body aches.

I can't wait for Randy to sleep through the night.  He wakes for restroom moments and medicine.  It is very much like having baby.  Just without the rocking and the bottles.  I just wish there was a nap time for me:)  I used to nap with my babies.  But when Randy naps I am taking care of my babies, and or working.

Using the ramp for the first time

On Monday my mom was the first to arrive.  The boys and I slept in the basement.  Mom put posters up for Randy's welcome home.  Randy's parents were next.  Then my brother came with a borrowed van.  We needed one with a chair lift.  NO WAY we could have done it without him.





Trevor was a great driver.  He waited patiently with us for discharge.  The drive home was rough on Randy.  He even got a little bit car sick.  But it was so good to be going home.

Randy's parents waited at the house for the hospital bed to arrive.  By law they were not able to deliver it to the garage.  While they waited Ron was kind enough to put furniture guards on all of my furniture.  Here is the view coming home from the back seat.

After getting Randy settled in the rest of us went to work.  There was so much to do.  Move furniture of course, but also to clean up from the construction mess.  Dust on everything. etc.  We all spent a good four hours cleaning before it was time to stop and have dinner.  Then later that evening the men showed up and installed the toilet and doors.  I continued to clean some more.  Austen helped me get the boys in bed and Randy to the bathroom.

Sunday = the floors are done

Last night I thought we could sleep at home.  I knew everyone was planning on doing a lot of work on the house.  Tanner was still not asleep at 12pm when the work on the bathroom started.  He had to be right in the thick of it and help.
 The bathroom looks amazing!!  I felt like the home makeover show where the people say they could not have imagined it that beautiful.  That's exactly how I feel.  The counter top is gorgeous.  The tile is elegant.  I am in love.  It almost makes me forget I don't have a tub for Tanner.  The tub is about the only place to contain him these days.
The floors are so warm and pretty.  I really like the color!  It's hard to believe it's the same wood in the kitchen and front room.    Even Jordan kept asking if the wood was new.
The bathroom crew moved bedroom furniture around to make room for Randy's bed and chair.  They did the sink, grout and  then it was 3:30 a.m. and I took Tanner over to the neighbors with me and asked if we could sleep over.  Niki said yes and Tanner was asleep in about 5 minutes.  I was asleep shortly after.  We woke at 11 and came home just as the floor people were putting on the last coat of finish.  This is getting real now.  The hospital bed should arrive at 2.  It will be delivered to the garage as the floor needs 8 hours or so to dry.
We left a basement window unlocked so we can live at home for a little bit.  Tanner was just getting too wound up being gone from home with all the other changes.  The smell is a little bit strong, but not unbearable.

Tanner and I visited Randy last night.  He was doing well, but getting nervous to come home.  He is finally well enough to want his privacy (as he is using the bathroom in bed).  He now has a grabber and another gadget to help himself move his very heavy feet.  This helps him feel a bit more in control.  We are still hoping that ortho will look at his feet before they discharge him.  The doctors on rounds promised me it would be done by Friday, but that was a no go.