thoughts: This is the closest I have come to crying. I just can't get over how many people are eager and willing to help my family. Every one of them has their own sorrows, their own needs. And yet, they set them aside to help us. I was feeling so sorry for myself. And then Ryan (the plumber) told me his sister has been in a wheelchair her whole life. This is how he knows what will and won't work for our new bathroom. That is when it hit me how blessed we are. This is only temporary for us. Her needs and medical go on and on. Our sweet drywall man has hearing loss. I know from experience how expensive hearing aids and batteries can be. I really want to pay all of these good people some money. They can use it as much as we can. No one will let me. I will now be on a mission to pay it forward. This is why I want to cry. I can never repay these good people for all of their generous service. Today is the first day since the accident that I am not running around between work, hospital and family. The kids are all being cared for right now by others. I can finally just sit in the quiet (thank you all for giving me a time out from the calls) and let it all sink in and just feel. Okay I admit, it's not exactly quiet. There is construction work going on as I type. But that is the sound of love. I am sure I will have my melt down after things settle a bit. When Randy is home, and things are more concrete. But it is good to have a small let down until then.
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