Valentine's Day

Some people have expressed concern over Randy's activities.  So let me tell you about it.  He eats 3 meals a day.  Two of which are in the kitchen at the table. He has snacks at his bedside, and he can ask for anything.   He often wheels to the front window or door to look out.  However he doesn't want to go out for a wheel chair walk because he is worried the pain of the cracks in the cement will be too great.  He has read the paper, and he is king of the remote.  He is also borrowing a lap top so he can surf the web anytime.
He uses the restroom when ever he wants to.  He only uses the bedside urinal at night because it's too inconvenient for everyone, including Randy, as he would have to put his brace on to sit up.
When he takes his medicine as scheduled his pain is under control.  When he tries to 'wean' himself he hurts.  He sleeps most of the day, and naps at night.  He said he is starting to go a little stir crazy, but not too much as he is sleeping a lot, and because our house is very busy.
He has in home Physical therapy and someone comes to check his blood levels 3 times a week due to his blood thinner he has to be on.
He is now able to move his legs better and can sometimes put them back into his bed after being in the chair.  He can slide them over by himself when he uses the restroom.  He really does get stronger each day.
We have a nice new friend who is going to let us borrow her van with a wheel chair lift to take Randy to the doctors  which for this week is Tuesday and Friday.  She also told me about a place where I can maybe rent a shower wheel chair for free.  This would be so wonderful!  Then Randy could recline back and not have his brace on to shower.
I have put food in the fridge that Randy can reach in the shelfs.  As he can not reach all the way into the fridge in his chair.
If I am not at home Randy ALWAYS has a babysitter with him.  My mom, the kids, his family, etc.

Last night we figured out our bills (NOT including medicine and doctor bills) .  We are short 2,500 each month.  This is on my income and Austen's rent money.  We live a simple life.  We have never had cable or shopped fancy stores for clothes.  We rarely eat out.  We never go to a full price movie theater.  There is really nothing to 'cut back' on.  We are discussing selling Randy's car as he won't be able to drive for some time.

How in the world does he think he wants to go rappelling again?  Take this risk of loosing his life, ruin his quality of life, and burden his family, all for a few moments of fun?  I don't think I will ever understand.  I have been on trips with them.  I had fun.  But there were times I felt like the risk was too great and have wanted to turn back.  The problem is that when you are in a group, there is no where to turn back.  And I have to trust these people that the path we are taking is 'safe'.  I am not sure I can ever go again.  This thought weighs heavily on my mind everyday for over one year now.  It is all I can think about this Valentine's day.